Well… This has been a LONG time coming… Throughout the last few months I’ve written out various plans and schedules for my blog, and different posts on shows I was going to put out… and then ‘life’ has happened in one way or another and I’ve found myself either without the time, desire or chance to do more blogs… so I’ll stop short of explaining my latest plan to get me to a 200th post and beyond, and I’ll just get on with a show I have wanted to write about for a long long time.
Now, let me remind you all; I have watched this show start to finish a grand total of ONE time, and that was when I watched it live. And back then I was well under the influence of alcohol, as me and some friends were watching the show before we went out in town that night. I have in fact never seen the main event of this show sober in my life (I was positively hammered by the time it began, although the only one sober enough to recognise the attempt at a Jackhammer that… well I’ll get onto that…). So finally I’m taking the time to rewatch this god AWFUL show with sober eyes and mind.
So here is my review looking back at WWE’s SuperShitsh… sorry… WWE’s Super ShowDown from 2019, emanating from the country of SAUDI ARABIA…
Wish me luck…
(For the record their was a tag match on the pre show. If you think I’m taking anymore time than I need to on this show by having to sit through a fucking kick off show as well you are damn wrong!)
They did their usual Saudi job of making the show and the matches feel as if the biggest thing in the history of the business (If you think a 50 man battle royal, a main event from 15 years ago, 2 world title matches with very obvious results and a match between a top star and SHANE MCFUCKINGMAHON… oh and two guys in their 50s in the main event… are big deals they I’m sure this advert made you very excited indeed)… but yeah the ad played, and then the big firework display went off and the ‘fans’ in Jeddah seemed to be very excited… way more than I am right now anyway… One thing you can’t take away from is how incredible the stadiums in Saudi look aesthetically. Very impressive indeed.
Seth Rollins (C) defeated Baron Corbin to retain the Universal Championship
Crowd seemed very in to Seth from the start, and loudly did the ‘BURN IT DOWN’ when he made his entrance. They recapped the beatdown given to Rollins by Brock Lesnar (who was of course Mr Money In The Bank at this time), and with Lesnar making clear he would cash in his briefcase for a title shot ‘Friday’… so not at that time but indeed on this night at Super ShowDown. The open suit-shirt and jeans wearing Baron Corbin came out to a less than overwhelming reaction. Should also note that the champion had his ribs tapped up here to sell the attack from Lesnar. Greg Hamilton read out a note during his introductions which listed the many ‘accomplishments’ of Baron Corbin, the crowd booed as this was read out and cheered Rollins as he was given his introduction after. They did some basic stuff at the start, until Rollins went rib first onto the ropes in the corner and then Corbin took over. Corbin hit a big punch to the ribs in the corner and then stood on his ribs, causing the ref to count him to get off. Corbin again dropped Rollins onto the ropes for a nearfall, Rollins though tried to figthback, but Corbin got another nearfall with that cool spot where he goes under the ring ropes one side, then comes back in from around the other side of the post and then clotheslined Rollins to the ground. Rollins got hit with a big bearhug type move from behind, with Corbin hitting right hands to the ribs as he held his opponent down (this was a really dull match so far not going to lie)… Corbin hit a side suplex but again only got to two with the pin, much to his frustration with the ref. The crowd booed Corbin and seemed kind of flat when he was on offence, but they came alive a little when he hit a step up enziguiri kick. Rollins fought back with some strikes, and soon hit a slingblade, following that with a suicide dive to the outside. Corbin rolled out the other side of the ring but got hit with the same dive again. Rollins rolled Corbin back into the ring, but got caught at the top by Corbin… eventually though he rolled through from whatever Corbin had in mind and got a sunset flip pinfall attempt… but Corbin kicked out at 2. Rollins hit a kick to the face after and got another 2. Rollins sent Corbin fleeing to the outside as he set up for the Stomp, but Corbin soon caught him with an elbow to the face and then a backdrop, which caused more damage to Rollins’ injured ribs. Corbin still couldn’t get the win and after getting more and more frustrated he soon hit a Deep Six, but again couldn’t get the win. Corbin really got in the ref’s face after this expressing his anger, and he tried the End of Days, but again got knocked out the ring. Corbin then got a chair of his own. but the ref managed to stop him using it, the ref again got a face full of Corbin, but this time the ref had finally had enough, and John Cone (to the roar of the crowd) went back at Corbin, asking him who he thought he was… (this played into a future storyline where Corbin got to hand pick the referee for a future title match)… And Rollins off the ‘distraction’ rolled up Corbin for the win. The crowd popped big for this. As a match it was… well about as bang average you could get…
**1/4
As Rollins just about had chance to celebrate his win, Corbin went from behind and hit Rollins with the End Of Days, and then soon after… Mr Money In The Bank Brock Lesnar came down along with a ref and a steel chair in hand, Paul Heyman by his side carrying the briefcase, to make good on his promise from Raw to cash in his contract tonight… but after Brock got in the ring Heyman somehow tripped on the ring ropes getting in and dropped the briefcase… this weird moment allowed Rollins enough time to low blow Lesnar, and then use Lesnar’s steel chair to batter The Beast, and then a stomp onto the Briefcase… and after beating him down Rollins took his championship, and left Lesnar and the briefcase unused… so no cash in just yet, Rollins lives to fight another day as Universal Champion… This was… well contrived a little but… meh… It was odd at the time but given in hindsight we know how this all goes it is what it is…
They showed a couple of the ‘sights’ in Jeddah (they mentioned about how a mountain there was the tallest in the world… thanks for that…)… And then they went back to Lesnar still smarting in the ring from the Rollins beating… Lesnar sold it great to be fair as he walked to the back, and showed he was really annoyed with a sorry Heyman too…
Demon Finn Balor (C) defeated Andrade to retain the Intercontinental Championship
Andrade was without his trusted business associate Zelina Vega when he came out for this one… funny that… I’m going to guess either this crowd didn’t care about either of these two or they didn’t really know who either was, because they were notably quiet during the entirety of this (aside from the opening of the Demon entrance). Balor seemed to have Andrade figured out early on, but eventually hit a high knee in the corner, and after looking like he was about to hit the hammerlock DDT he was rolled over and got a dropkick to the face from Finn. The Demon took Andadre down and then stomped on his chest, and Andrade in frustration tried the big knee in the corner again but ended up taking a heavy bump over the ropes to the outside after Balor moved out the way. Balor dropkicked Andrade through the ropes but then got knocked down and fell on the apron. Andrade then threw Balor back into the ring and hit a missile dropkick off the ropes for a nearfall. It’s absurd and actually triggering me a little how silent this crowd are for a match between two of the best in-ring talents on the roster… yet later on in the show… well, I’ll get onto that later… Andrade then hit the ‘3 amigos’ suplexes in a mocking of Rey Mysterio and the late great Eddie Guerrero, but Balor kicked out of the pin. Anadrade had a rest hold in, but soon after Andrade hit what looked to me like a reverse neckbreaker off the corner ropes for a nearfall. Andrade with a rear chinlock , and after some chops Balor hit a dropkick to Andrade right on his chin. Both men hit a clothesline and after sending him to the outside Balor did his big dive to the outside onto Andrade. Balor hit a series of kicks to Andrade, and a huge chop in the corner and then in another, but after Andrade hit a kick to the face he tried the reverse neckbreaker off the corner rope he hit earlier in the match, but Balor turned that into a regular neckbreaker-type move of his own and then got a nearfall off a slam after. Finn’s paint was really coming off at this point (I’m guessing a lot because of the heat). Finn tried the slingblade but Andrade moved out the way, and got hit with a big chop across his chest. Balor then did hit a slingblade. Balor got caught with another kick to the face, but ‘demoned’ up after, and the same after a big back elbow to leave Andrade perplexed… El Idolo then hit a crazy summersault move that he kicked Balor in the face with, then hit the double knees to the corner… but Balor kicked out of the pin attempt. Andrade went up top after and tried a moonsault but Balor moved, and even after he did another flip to try and hit Balor Andrade got caught by a knee of Finn. Balor fought off the apron, and after getting hit with some strikes Balor fought off was looked to be a pretty gruesome attempt at a sunsetflip powerbomb into the crowd barrier (gruesome by the way because the bump would’ve been horrid, the move attempt was executed perfectly), Balor then double-stomped on Andrade again. Balor then chucked Andrade back into the ring, and came off the top stomping again with the double stomp onto the back of Andrade’s neck… but he kicked out at 2. Balor tried a powerbomb but this time Andrade rolled through and dropkicked Balor… he picked him up after and hit the hammerlock ddt… but Finn kicked out! Balor eventually powered up and powerbombed Andrade, then hit the dropkick to send Andrade against the corner post, but as he went up top Andrade got up and tried to strike him down… but eventually after Andrade tried some form of springboard move it was Balor who got the momentum with a crazy ddt-type move off the top rope (almost like a top rope 1916). And then Balor went up top on the other side and hit the Coupe de Grace for the win. Balor retains. They both tried SOOOO hard here to put on a great match, and it really was good stuff in between the ropes… but the lack of crowd noise killed it for me. Shame on that country for a whole host of things, among them a lack of interest in this match. It was of no fault of Finn or Andrade that this was only a good and not a great match.
***1/2
The Miz talked up his chances of winning the big battle royal later, and tried to make it into a big deal… UUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHH… Jinder Mahal then did the same… as well as moaning about his 24/7 title loss ON THE PLANE OVER TO JEDDAH to R-Truth.
Shane McMahon (with Drew McIntyre) defeated Roman Reigns
They made a point to mention during the opening graphic of the match that it was last year at Crown Jewel that Shane McMahon won a tournament to become THE BEST IN THE WORLD. The beef here began when Roman Superman Punched Vince after him being announced as a SmackDown superstar during the Superstar Shake-Up. So Shane decided to join up with Drew to take on THE BIG DOG… Who thew fuck could possibly give a shit about this as a feud… I guess we went on to get the tag match with Undertaker out of it not long after this… but… URGH… The imagery by the way of MONEY falling from the sky as Shane skipped down to the ring is something else, given the blood money Saudi gave to WWE for these shows… They had Greg Hamilton do his OTT intro for Shane, and the World Cup Trophy was ringside. For some reason McIntyre got his own proper entrance and ring introduction as he came down to the ring (I forgot this was a triple threat or Drew was officially in the match…) Roman got a huge cheer as he came out. ANYWAY… the glorious match… Pretty much as soon as is started Shane charged at Roman after a brief distraction by Drew, and UNLEASHED his god-awful punches, knees and kicks on Reigns… Shane gave Roman a headlock and then more strikes… before Roman cameback with some big punches and Shane sold big for them (I can’t even type this seriously that ROMAN REIGNS (chiseled out of Stone) had to mount a comeback against SHANE MCMAHON (A OLD SWEATY DAD)… anyway… Shane moved out the way of a Roman charge as he collided with the ring post, and then he laid a beating on him some more… and Reigns soon after went flying into the ring post on the other side… Shane distracted the ref whilst Drew hit Roman on the outside. Back in the ring after Shane out-right tried to choke Roman, and then hit more strikes… Shane hit a side russian leg sweep, and got a nearfall before more strikes. Roman came back with big punches, and dropped him twice with clotheslines before both came off the ropes and… SHANE got the upper hand with a flying back elbow that got a nearfall… as Michael Cole in his eternal wisdom said “that was vintage Shane right there”… I cba… Shane hit more strikes then had a rest hold pulling Roman’s head back, Shane got another nearfall, then tried a CHINLOCK (yes Shane is DOMINATING this match… UUUUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHH…)… Roman powered up then went at Shane in the corner, he came off the ropes and hit a kick to Shane’s head to take him down… Roman signaled for the Superman Punch, but the Wrestling Machine Shane dived at Roman in mid-air to take down his legs and Roman went crashing down… this got Shane another nearfall… Shane then tried to get in a Triangle hold as commentary made note and put over big the possibility of Shane making good on his promise to be the first person in WWE history to tap out Roman Reigns… but The Big Dog lifted Shane up and slammed him down, but of course McMahon kicked out because he’s THE BEST IN THE WORLD. As the ref saw to Shane after Roman threw him back into the ring, McIntyre launched Reigns into the barricade, but soon after it was Drew who went into the ring post on the outside, then Roman hit Drew with a Superman Punch. And as Shane came flying from the ring to the outside, Roman caught with him a punch too. Shane kicked Roman in the leg as he got back into the ring, then came off the ropes and Shane hit a Spear to Roman… but only got like a 2.9 count it looked like. Shane dropped some elbows to Roman, then kicked him in the corner, then he went to the opposite top rope looking for the Coast to Coast, only for Roman to get back up and Superman Punch Shane off the top rope… but Shane kicked out at 2… Roman went to the corner looking for the Spear… but Shane kicked Roman in the face… Drew then came into the ring and as the ref’s back was turned after being hit accidentally by Shane as he fell back from Roman’s punch, McIntyre hit a Claymore (HOW ON EARTH THE REF DIDN’T HEAR THIS IS BEYOND ME) AND THEN SHANE FELL ON ROMAN AND GOT THE 1,2,3. YOUR WINNER IS THE BEST IN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD… SHAAAAANNNNEEE MCMAAAAAAAAAAHONNNNNNNN!!! And as Shane was on Drew’s shoulders at the bottom of the ramp we had all the fireworks go off in the background. What a wonderful moment hey… So in answer to your quiz questions in years to come.. the first person to defeat Roman Reigns after he returned from fighting CANCER… was Shane McFUCKINGmahon… GET IN THE BIN!!! I fucking H-A-T-E-D THIS!
*
They showed us a shot of the tallest building in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia the ‘Headquaters Business Park Tower’… Why we needed to see that I don’t know… They also showed a mini-graphic showing the actual temperature (as opposed to the fake one?) was 94 degrees, as commentary stated on the floor was a real feel of 101 degrees.
We then got a shot of the door to the locker room of Goldberg.
Byron Saxton was backstage spoke to the WWE Champion Kofi Kingston as he and Xavier Woods came into shot. Saxton asked about Ziggler and asked Kofi if given everything physically he had been through in recent weeks if he could match Dolph’s intensity… honestly these WWE backstage interviewers just ask the dumbest questions… like what do you expect Kofi to say ‘no Byron I think Dolph is way ahead of me and I’m fucked?’… bore off… In short Kofi and Woods talked up Kofi’s chances and the importance of the match.
Lars Sullivan defeated Lucha House Party (Kalisto & Lince Dorado & Gran Metalik) in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match by DISQUALIFICATION
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WAS THIS MESS?!
So as The Luchas made their entrance we were told on commentary about how on Raw the three of them had taken the fight to Sullivan, but on SmackDown Lars did an interview and compared the Luchas to three blind mice being caught, and how their tales would be ripped apart by his bare hands and how a beautiful portrait would be painted with their bodily fluids… this was honestly the most random feud in recent WWE history… Commentary pointed out how this was Lars’ FIRST MATCH IN WWE (because as evident by their lack of knowledge of The Demon Finn Balor having actually lost to Samoa Joe in NXT, NXT doesn’t count)… what a debut match this was… Kalisto started in ring with Sullivan, who quickly wrestled him into the corner and hit shoulder charges. Lars clubbed Kalisto across the back, then Gorilla pressed him face first onto the turnbuckle. He threw Kalisto into the corner so he could tag in Dorado. Lince tried to take it to Lars but soon got flattened. Lars picked up Dorado but Lince fought out, and then Lars sent him over the ropes to the outside. Sullivan rolled out after Dorado and threw him back in the ring, then came off the ropes and hit a running shoulder charge to send Dorado flying. Lars picked up Dorado, and placed him on the top rope, knocking down Kalisto as he did so before sending Lince packing too. Sullivan was bleeding from the mouth, and got a kick to the face as Metalik made his way into the match. Metalik came off the ropes with a somersault but failed to take Sullivan down, then hit a few kicks as Kalisto tagged in, but he flew right into Sullivan who caught him, but Kalisto got out of trouble and kicked Lars away after in the corner, then came off the middle rope but got clobbered in mid-air by Lars on the way down. Sullivan was somehow sent over the ropes as Kalisto had pulled them down as he charged at him… Sullivan looked angry as he got into the ring and ran right over to take down Metalik. He got a kick from Kalisto before Lars slammed him down hard. Sullivan hit strikes to Kalisto again, then went TO THE TOP ROPE… but he was stopped by Dorado and Metalik who striked and kicked him down. AND AS THE TWO OTHER LUCHAS BEAT HIM DOWN THE REF RANG THE FUCKING BELL FOR THE DQ!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF THIS MATCH!? The three combined to take down and beat on Lars… Dorado hitting a splash and Metalik a flying elbow before they made their exit. Sullivan looked on furious and chased them up the ramp. He backdropped Metalik and then ran over Kalisto before throwing Dorado. He slammed Kalisto onto the entrance ramp hard, then eventually smashed Dorado on the ring apron. He screamed and shouted a lot, then hit music played as he finally left the the three Luchas laying. He laughed as his music played and he walked to the back. The crowd was completely silent for this whole match. And for once I can’t blame them.
DUD
Randy Orton defeated Triple H
I LOVE both these guys, but on this show this match went way too long (25 minutes) and for the most was BORING AS FUCK! Both guys were really over with the Saudi crowd. HHH came out on a trike similar to one he has used at previous WrestleManias. They stared off to begin with, as the crowd chanted ‘NXT’ in support of it’s founder Triple H. This very slow paced match had fans chanting “This is Awesome” (for what I don’t know…). They had a series of stare downs and lock ups to begin with, and a number of basic holds and reversals as well as both coming close to hitting their finish, with the other quickly getting out of it and trying theirs. They locked up again after and Orton hit some punches in the corner, he then tried an Irish whip to the other corner but HHH moved out the way, and Orton went into the post. Triple H then began to work on Orton’s arm, yanking at it and then hitting it against the barricade, the steps and then his shoulder into the ringpost. Triple H broke the count and then smashed Orton’s arm against the apron. Randy was in pain on the outside but as soon as Triple H went back at him, Orton hit him with a backbody drop onto the announce table, and HHH’s back hit one of the monitors which looked horrid. Orton broke the count, and soon after HHH was sent shoulder first into the steps. Orton rolled him into the ring after and got a nearfall off the pin. Orton then hit his signature stomps all over HHH as he was down, Orton then posed to the crowd and then went back to beating on Triple H. He got a nearfall after, and then had a chinlock in for fucking ages… HHH tried to punch out of it but then Orton yanked his beard and striked him down. Orton got another nearfall after and then got another chinlock in… HHH powers up, and they exchange strikes before Triple H hits his high knee strike to Orton, and soon then a clothesline in the corner before a face buster soon after with his knee hitting Orton’s face. HHH tried a Pedigree, but Orton wriggled out and Catapulted HHH into the corner, only for Triple H to come back with a bit clothesline for a nearfall. Orton then kicked Triple H away in the corner before he again got out of a Pedigree attempt by sending Triple H over the apron. Orton tried the draping ddt but was striked out but then Orton cameback with a dropkick. Orton placed Triple H on the top turnbuckle and hit him a few times… back in the middle of the ring after and Triple H tried a Spinebuster, which Orton then tried to hit the RKO but he got hit with a big strike on the back of the head that sent him down. HHH hit the DX chop and then ran to Orton but got hit with the scoop slam for a 2 count. Orton then hit the draping DDT… and then set for the RKO but didn’t get it and HHH hit a Spinebuster for a nearfall. In fact he tried 3 times in a row to pin Orton but got kicked out of every time. He then put Orton in a crossface for ages before Orton eventually got the bottom rope to break the hold. In the best sequence of the match; Orton punched Triple H away then tried the RKO… Triple H tried a Pedigree… then tried a backbody drop… but then Randy hit the RKO… but only got a two count after the pin. Orton then tried the Punt kick, but Triple H grabbed his leg and soon hit the Pedigree for a nearfall that got a big pop from the Saudi crowd after the kick out. Orton went to the outside, HHH went after him but Orton pokes him in the eye, he then tried to backbody drop HHH like he had earlier… and then HHH turned it around and hit the same move onto the announce table 4 times in a row, but the table just wouldn’t break! HHH then sent Orton back into the ring, and posed for the crowd, and then got into the ring, ran at Orton, and then got hit with the RKO (which really did come “outta knowhere”) and that got the 1, 2, 3. This was fine and had it been half as long I’d have considered it pretty good. But it was way too long and slow in parts and that really dragged it down.
**
Commentary spoke about the 24/7 title scene. They then showed two videos from over the past few days, the first showing R Truth on the phone on the tarmac about to board a Plane, and as he was on the phone Jinder Mahal rolled him up and won the title. The next clip showed Jinder asleep on the Plane and Truth pinning him to win the title back. He then as new champion had to run away from the rest of the roster chasing him, and he eventually locked himself in the plane toilets, class. I love me some R-Truth I think he’s hilarious.
Byron Saxton was backstage again, but was soon interrupted by an angry Baron Corbin. He was fuming that the ref cost him (in his mind at least) the match earlier and the Universal title. As I mentioned this leads to the next PPV and a special guest referee angle.
Braun Strowman defeated Bobby Lashley
Lashley really may have the best physique in wrestling. During his entrance he posed and showed his body off and fireworks played in the background. It was a cool entrance tbf. They showed a clip from Raw of these two in an arm wrestling match, that Braun won. They brawled after when Lashley threw chalk in Strowman’s eyes, and even hit him with the running Powerslam, which doing that to a 340 pound guy was some sight. They showed a ‘Tale of the Tape’ comparing the two, these are freak athletes and specimens they really are. They had several lock ups and shows of strength at the start and it was about even (crowd is and was all match pretty much DEAD by the way). Lashley failed twice to take down Braun with running shoulder charges, and he then took Braun down to a knee before a pretty cool sequence where Braun rolled through to get away from Lashley, Lashley leaped over Braun running at him, but eventually Strowman got the advantage taking Lashley down with a big running charge. He then hit a splash to Lashley in the corner, but missed another when Lashley moved out the way. Lashley then hit a running slam for a 2 count off the pin. Braun took some damage after via some punches and rest holds, but Braun ESPN fought back and hit a big Spinebuster. He then hit some more running charges to Lashley in the corners, and with Lashley outside Braun did his running round the ring and taking some down spot twice(catchy title from me hey…)… Braun tried to run at Lashley in the corner but Bobby Lashley moved and a Strowman crashed into the post. Lashley than ran Braun into the barricade on the outside. Then hit a vertical Suplex to Braun on the ramp way which was impressive to be fair. But back in the ring Braun kicked out of the pin at two. Lashley then went to the top rope but Braun got up and pulled him down, then hit a standing and then a running powerslam for the 1,2,3. This was very very basic big man stuff. A match that seemed more fitting for an 80s or early 90s TV match. Dull as shit tbh.
*1/2
They again promoted the battle royal. Ali and Samoa Joe cut promos to camera talking up their chances in the match.
Kofi Kingston (C) (with Xavier Woods) defeated Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE Championship
I think Big E was still injured at this time, hence it was just Woods with Kofi. I quite enjoyed the ‘It should have been me’ promo stuff from Dolph before this. But the idea of Ziggler in his usual cycle here of being a temporary WWE title contender that’s never winning it again here is questionable surely. Then again after the job he did with Goldberg at SummerSlam that year he has my eternal respect so fair play to him. They took turns taking eachother down. Kofi hit some aggressive punches in the corner, before Dolph took over and beat on Kingston pretty much the majority of the match. The crowd was really dead for this and at this stage I really did reach the end of my tether with this show. None of the wrestling has been really bad, it’s just been BORING AS FUCK. Dolph for the rest of the match hit a series of rest holds, strikes, got a load of nearfalls… Kofi got into it a little with a boomdrop and he tried to hit Trouble In Paradise but Dolph got out the way and soon after hit a ddt for a 2 count. Then later after coming off the top for a crossbody Kofi was rolled over by Dolph for another nearfall. Then they had a series of nearfalls each in a quick exchange, then the action spilled to the outside after Kingston came off the top onto Ziggler. Dolph sent Kofi into the barricade then the steps. Then Ziggler decided he would SuperKick Xavier Woods for some reason… but Kofi striked Dolph and they got back in the ring. Then after Kofi came off the top rope Dolph moved out the way leading to Kofi trying Trouble In Paradise again but Ziggler rolled him up for a pin attempt, but Kofi kicked him away… right Into the apron where Woods got up to kick Ziggler as the ref had his back turned. Then as Dolph turned back round Kofi hit Trouble In Paradise for the win. Kofi retains. Obviously.
**1/4
Byron Saxton interviewed Dolph as he came through the back. Ziggler was not happy at all, saying he outperformed Kofi and fumed at Woods’ interference. So he challenged Kingston to a rematch… in a Steel Cage!
In a sadly ironic moment, we had an advert for a WWE Network exclusive programme that would be on immediately after Super ShowDown… it was on Ronda Rousey… you know… a female wrestler at one time… shame they didn’t plug this on the big screen in the arena for all the Saudi fans to see…
We had a recap of the Universal title match and aftermath from earlier in the show.
Michael Cole talked about the ‘passion’ of all the fans they’ve encountered this week since WWE has been in Saudi Arabia. I’m guessing none of those passionate fans were at this show then given the DEAD crowd most of the night… my god… They then played a number of clips of excited ‘fans’ before the show, making sure plenty of them were women and kids of course… fuck my life…
WISH ME FUCKING LUCK WITH THE NEXT TWO MATCHES…
Mansoor won the fucking battle royal
I cba anymore. It was a battle royal with 50 (51 actually according to the Internet) guys in so OBVIOUSLY it sucked. Mansoor (the guy from Saudi Arabia) won of course, and his reaction after and the crowd pop and interview after were like he’d just won the title at Mania. Is what it is. But what it is can get fucked as far as I’m concerned. For the record the poor souls also in this match were: EC3, Sunil Singh, Samir Singh, Karl Anderson, Eric Young, Humberto Carrillo, Mike Kanellis, Luke Gallows, Heath Slater, Curtis Axel, Oney Lorcan, Akira Tozawa, Bo Dallas, No Way Jose, Mojo Rawley, The Brian Kendrick, Drew Gulak, Tony Nese, Tucker, Akam, Rezar, Ivar, Erik, Titus O’Neil, Buddy Murphy, Shelton Benjamin, Zack Ryder, Curt Hawkins, Chad Gable, Apollo Crews, Jinder Mahal, Otis, Xavier Woods, Rowan, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Dash Wilder, Scott Dawson, Matt Hardy, Cedric Alexander, Shinsuke Nakamura, Sin Cara, Rusev, Robert Roode, The Miz, Samoa Joe, Ali, Ricochet, and Cesaro.
1/2* (0.5)
They ran down the card for the next PPV Stomping Grounds… GIANT POP from the fans for the graphic showing the match between Bayley and Alexa Bliss… funny that… same sort of reaction for the graphic advertising Becky Lunch vs Lacey Evans too… hmm…
Oh boy…
The Undertaker defeated Goldberg
They played a pretty great Promo package hyping the match up beforehand… that was where anything great ended… Goldberg did his classic entrance and got a huge reaction. But it was nothing compared to the reaction for The Undertaker, who always gets the loudest pops in Saudi by a mile, this show was no different. For his grand entrance he had a number of flaming-torch bearing druids and COFFINS appear (again in SAUDI ARABIA I’m not sure the imagery of coffins is OK at all…), once this was done and the weird music stopped, The Phenom came out to a HUGE pop. Lots of fire and smoke and lasers and all the classic stuff for a proper, as OTT as possible Undertaker entrance that may have legit been longer than the match that followed. They stared down to begin with, Goldberg did Undertaker’s throat slit, then Taker punched him. Then he got Speared, then Goldberg hit a second Spear but Taker kicked out at two. Undertaker then did his sit up, Goldberg punched anyway at him, missed a right hand as Taker looked for a Chokeslam, but Goldberg powered out and tried a KNEE BAR. Taker eventually got the bottom rope to break the hold, then as Undertaker was in the corner Goldberg charged towards him but Taker moved out the way and Goldberg went crashing into the ring post HARD… and… this was where EVERYTHING went south very quickly… Goldberg was bleeding terribly from his head as a result… and he just fell to the ring floor after with blood coming out the top of his head (he was knocked out apparently briefly and suffered a concussion)… Taker went over to him and picked him up and teed off right hands on a staggered Goldberg in the corner, Taker then hit a number of shoulders and easily batted off a fightback from Goldberg. Then Taker did Old School, and Taker signalled for a Chokeslam as Goldberg was slumped against the ropes, somehow Taker hit the Chokeslam. He signalled for the Tombstone after, and he hit it… but my god if you know anything about wrestling and have watched as many Undertaker matches as I have you know they aren’t actually meant to go head first onto the ring floor, because.. that HURTS… For one reason or another (I’m gonna take a stab and say it was because he was concussed) Goldberg looked to be able to make no attempt to lift his head and tuck his chin, and so his head went crashing into the ring floor, and I audibly winced watching it back. A Horrible moment. Goldberg somehow had the state of mind to kick out of the pin attempt. Goldberg was somehow on his feet, and Taker punched away at him in the corner, after running the ropes both men collided and went down in the middle of the ring. Both men staggered up and exchanged strikes, Taker hit Goldberg in the corner and did snake eyes, but Goldberg ran back with another Spear. Goldberg signalled for the Jackhammer… and… if you thought the Tombstone was bad… this Jackhammer (or more like a god damn brainbuster) was the shits… he did get Taker up but almost as quickly fell down with him and dropped Taker neck first into the ring floor. He just seemed to collapse with the weight. Undertaker could easily have broken his neck right there, and it’s a MIRACLE he can still freely move about today. Taker kicked out of the pin after. And then Goldberg wanted more, Taker got up too and Goldberg looked like he wanted to try a Tombstone but as he lifted him up they both just fell to the floor. Because of course a concussed guy in his 50s aint gonna be able to lift another human up like that. It looked awful, they both just collapsed in a heap. At this point Undertaker just looks miserable and done with life, and mercifully for everyone watching and the two involved in the match they went right to the finish after, and Taker hit what was at best the second worst ever chokeslam of his career and got the pin. Undertaker looked FUMING after the bell rang. He was PISSED and I could see why. It wasn’t Bill’s fault of course he got the bad knock on the head, but the match fell off the biggest of cliffs after what was a promising start. It was sad to watch and you can see why both men had matches later that summer to redeem themselves somewhat. A furious looking Undertaker closed the show with all his gimmicks going off as his music played. But this felt like no time to celebrate despite the fireworks that closed this show.
They say you should always try and conquer your fears. To face them head on… well, as a wrestling fan this match was mine. And now over a year on I’ve finally watched it sober. And I can confirm I do not feel better for having done so. It was utterly horrendous and hard to watch. How neither Mark Callaway or Bill Goldberg didn’t walk away from this match with life changing injuries is beyond me. This was… well I’ll use a wrestling term to describe it… and you may not know it as a wrestling term but it once was, and of course it has another much more commonly used meaning in wider society… but its the C word level adjective for wrestling… This match was an abortion.
-***** (MINUS 5 STARS)
Josh.
NobodyisReady.com 