Raw 19/3/2018 Review: The Ultimate DELETION, that Ultimately delivered

So here we are then… RAW is in Dallas, Texas… however the main story of this show will surely come from a long, long way away…. THE HARDY COMPOUND! What promises to be a very ‘unique’ show begins with Raw GM Kurt Angle coming out to the ring. He tells the crowd flat-out that Roman Reigns is still suspended (and so not here tonight), and that Brock Lesnar is not at the arena yet but he has been assured by Mr McMahon that he WILL be here later tonight. Angle then goes on to speak about the situation regarding the tag team battle royal from last week and what he will do to resolve the situation regarding the winner Braun Strowman not having a partner… he is though then interrupted by gasps and screams from the crowd as Roman Reigns makes his way to the ring via the crowd. The two then have a back and forth on the mic with Roman telling him “Brock’s not here… somebody has to be here to represent the MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA …”. Kurt tries to calm Reigns by telling him that ‘in 3 weeks you can get your hands of him, all you have to do is wait until Wrestlemania 34’. This is something in which the challenger for the Universal Championship is far from pleased with; “I understand, I still don’t care… I’m not leaving this ring until I face Brock Lesnar TONIGHT”! . Roman also made reference to the fact that he was in the same place (Dallas, Texas) in which he won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship from Triple H in the main event of Wrestlemania 32 (Roman beating a respected part-timer for the world title in the Mania main event, in which he was booed throughout… no chance of that happening again……… ever…………). OOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR!

However he would not have the same success as he had on the aforementioned previous trip to Dallas; as Roman was sat on a chair waiting in the ring the “US Marshalls” came to the ring and arrested him! Roman was initially co-operative but would take exception to one ‘Marshall’ (aka one of the developmental talents WWE had roped in for the role to take bumps) who proceeded to physically restrain him, with Roman clearing the officers out of the ring whilst still in handcuffs. And then… BROCK LESNAR came storming to the ring! With Paul Heyman holding the coveted Universal Championship in his arms, The Beast Incarnate (sporting a brand new t-shirt which looked great by the way) would unleash a fury on his Wrestlemania opponent: Suplex, Steel Chair attack, Suplex, steel chair attack, suplex, chair shots, Suplex… left the ring, got back in the ring, F5, Brock and Heyman leave, Roman is placed on a stretcher and carted out the ring, Brock comes running back out into the ringside area and he proceeds to ram Roman’s Stretcher over! And then mercilessly he finally makes his exit. WOW OH WOW! Statement well and truly made, this match is not going to be for the faint hearted. I urge you all to read my review of their previous Wrestlemania match and you’ll know they put on a very good, hard hitting match before and I’m in no doubt they will again, YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSS!

Next up we see a recap of Alexa Bliss & Mickie James Mean Girls stick towards Nia Jax last week, and Nia’s subsequent reaction before the Raw Women’s Champion (along with her lapd… sorry her ‘friend’ Mickie James) makes her way to the ring. She cut a promo which was much more of the same brilliant bitchiness she has been exhibiting recently, before The Empress of Tomorrow Asuka made her way out for their match. It was, unsurprisingly, pretty good to be fair to them. If this had been the Wrestlemania match I wouldn’t have minded too much, but I’m obviously ecstatic with what we do have. The finish of the match came when Mickie James helped Alexa out of the ring and away after Asuka had long had her in an Ankle Lock. Asuka winning by countout. With the 2 heels making their escape, NIA JAX came charging down the rampway, she attacked James and attempted to chase down Bliss but the champion would be able to escape the clutches of Jax via escaping thought the crowd. Jax took her fury out on James who she absolutely destroyed! Nia unleashed a banshee-like scream to show her anger towards her now seemingly former friend and her recent actions. We would next see Alexa Bliss backstage with Kurt Angle, she complained to him about Nia’s actions, with Angle saying he was in fact annoyed with what she Alexa had done in recent weeks, He bemoaned her for being a poor example to young women as the Raw Women’s Champion, and then he announced ALEXA BLISS vs NIA JAX FOR THE RAW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP AT WRESTLEMENIA! HALLELUJAH, FINALLY!!! Great stuff all round here from all involved, and now we officially have the match we all wanted. DELIGHTFUL!

Next up was the answer I certainly have been waiting for all week… and over the course of the next segment we had it confirmed to us that it will be Braun AND A PARTNER vs The Bar! Let the speculation begin then… Elias? Samoa Joe? Bray Wyatt? Who on earth knows? Anyway; Braun vs Cesaro then, decent match with Cesaro selling his ass off for the star of the show, he would attempt to use his amazing power throughout but was stopped at almost every turn by The Monster Amongst Men. Strowman saw off potential interference from Sheamus on the outside and eventually after Cesaro attempted a crossbody from the top rope he was amply caught and then power-slammed to the mat to give Braun the victory. I predict, but for his neck-related issues I hope not, that Sheamus will suffer a similar fate next week. I would love it if they didn’t reveal Braun’s partner until Mania itself, the pop (if it is a good choice) could be HUGE! Next match was Titus Worldwide vs The Revival… who the fuck cares??? The Revival won thank god, and after cut a promo saying they would become the first tag team ever to win the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. So… we WILL get a men’s battle royal then? That’ll be a great chance to bring some more stars to the main roster from NXT and to make it into a huge deal, I hope they don’t waste it! After this a video package was shown confirming that Texas’ own Mark Henry is going into the Hall of Fame. Fantastic, absolutely delighted for him. A long servant of the WWE and such a talented guy. His main event run was so good as was his Sexual Chocolate gimmick. A man of many talents now has his rightful place in the Hall of Fame. WONDERFUL!

Next up was what I thought was a really… hokey… promo exchange between Sasha Banks and Bayley. Sasha followed Bayley out and said that she had been raised to think that she should talk to someone you have a problem with face to face, she told Bayley that she was her best friend and that she wanted to fix whatever was going on between them, she defender her actions (when she attacked Bayley) by saying that ‘at Elimination Chamber it was every woman for themselves… just like I intend to go to Wrestlemania and win the Women’s battle royal’ … (so no Sasha vs Bayley one on one at Mania then… *cry*). Sasha then bemoaned Bayley for rejecting her tag the other week in their match, and also for walking out on her last week, but because “I’m the bigger person, I forgive you”. Bayley responded by saying she was angry then, but that her actions didn’t cost them the match, that she actually helped them both win, and that she took off last week because… she still ‘can’t get over what you did to me at the Elimination Chamber’. Bayley went on to tell a crestfallen and solemn-looking Sasha that it was about how you did it [at Elimination Chamber when Banks kicked Bayley from the top of a pod] but the look on your face after you did it “ate away at my core”. Apparently Sasha “ate away” at Bayley’s core… somebody pass me the sick bucket… Bayley questioned how if Sasha was her best friend then ‘why was it so easy to put me down’? Next we had Bayley and Sasha vs Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville, ok match with Bayley & Sasha’s ongoing tensions prevalent throughout with blind-tags and trash talk aplenty. Finish came when the two ‘best friends’ argued allowing Deville to push Bayley into Banks knocking her down, before Sonya hit a sidekick on Bayley for the win. I read rumours that Sasha and Bayley have heat backstage with the creative and some of the higher-ups because neither are happy with their creative direction, and the fact their supposed mania match has be annulled. I saw nothing here to convince me otherwise. It will make sense if they are the final 2 I guess but it’s a shame we won’t get them one on one at Wrestlemania as both deserve, but instead it has been sentenced to DELETION!

Next was our weekly tease of the biggest match in Wrestlemania history… so nothing major… John Cena made his way to the ring; he further ridiculed The Undertaker for his failure to answer his Wrestlemania challenge last week, he said to The Phenom that “for that dude to not get off your ass and give me a yes or a no is damn disrespectful”. “Dude, if you’re retired, say no and be retired and everybody in here understands”… “Dude you sit there and you drown in your own insecurities…” and THEN the DADDY of all lines… “you are not the god that they made you, you are the man you allowed yourself to become” (I absolutely LOVED this line, it was absolutely brilliant imo). He then repeatedly called The Undertaker a ‘COWARD’! And finished by saying that “Undertaker you are not a god and right now you should barely be able to call yourself a man”, he then dropped his mic and shook his head in disgust and began to make his exit… until KANE comes out!!! Cena asked The Undertaker’s brother if it was a ‘yes or a no’ before placing the mic closer to the Big Red Machine. He was not given an answer, verbally anyway. Instead Kane Chokeslammed Cena and walked away. Another great John Cena segment, the involvement of Kane (presumably a match between the 2 will follow) is another intriguing aspect. We await official confirmation of course but at this stage it is being assumed it’s on, and there’s not a chance they’d take it this far if it wasn’t happening. The wait for The Undertaker to actually appear though is now becoming absolutely INTOXICATING!

Next The Miz came out with The Miztourage for a promo. It was decent enough, nothing new from him but good nonetheless. One notable point was him mentioning that “the little nudge will turn into a bug push for TYLER BLACK (SETH ROLLINS name before he came to WWE) and PRINCE NEVITT (Finn Balor was called Prince Devitt outside of WWE so I’m unsure of this was a genuine mistake or if Miz was supposed to get this wrong, either way it matters little to me, the sheer context was enough to get it over for me) when I send them down to the bingo halls so they can too sweet all you little indie fans”. Great line that from Miz. This led to an acceptable match between BALOR CLUB (Finn Balor, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson each sporting some great new tees) vs Miz, Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel, should also mention Seth Rollins did guest commentary for this one. My notes weren’t too long on this one, my mind had already been diverted towards the main event to be honest. So Finn pinned Miz for the win and Miztourage bet on him and Gallows and Anderson afterwards before Rollins came to make the save. My main takeaway from this was that they have been making The Miz look far too weak recently, which leads me to believe they’ll have him retain the Intercontinental Championship at Wrestlemania. Perhaps the appearance of a Demon could change all that… now that would be ORGASMIC!

We were then shown a great video package on Ronda Rousey. Her SAT DOWN WITH Kurt Angle, him putting her over, more footage of Rousey training as she explained her story. It was really well done to be fair to them, Ronda came across as both a babyface and a legit badass. I was though absolutely ASTONISHED that during this promotional package they actually used credited footage from the UFC! I imagine that didn’t come cheap! Not much too say about this, it more than did its job for me anyway. MAGNIFICENT!

Then… it was time for the main event of the show; The Ultimate Deletion. Now… I know I say this every week but I just sat back and watched and enjoyed this one so didn’t take many notes. And I know I say too often that ‘you just need to go and watch this match’. But this was the most bizzare, entertaining and (I’m absolutely delighted to be able to truthfully say this) BRILLIANT match/segment or whatever the fuck it was! I mean seriously, you try and perform a technical analysis of this! I’d strongly advise you do your homework on this whole story and gimmick with Matt Hardy because there were so many little bits of excellence in this absolute masterpiece. I’ll struggle to list them all but; Matt constructing a mirror image of Bray’s old house (that you may recall Randy Orton burning down around this time last year), Senior Benjamin handing Wyatt a globe so that he really did have ‘the whole world in his hand’, Bray chasing Matt around various structures (the footage of Bray at superspeed) as Matt elicited more WOKEN wisdom had me absolutely wetting myself, BROTHER NERO making a cameo (that’s Jeff Hardy for you OBSELETE mules), I really could go on and on. The ‘finish’ came with a twist of fate from Matt for the pinfall before Bray Wyatt was placed into the nearby water. Matt then instructed his loyal Senior Benjamin to fish him out and place him in the ‘Lake of Reincarnation’. But Hardy was told than Wyatt was not there, with WOKEN Matt then declaring that THE GREAT WAR was now OVAHHHHHH! Matt then announced that Bray Wyatt had finally been DELETED! And that was how Raw went off the air… EXQUISITE!

And that was that… wow… I’m not often speechless about wrestling but I’m so lost for words about the Ultimate Deletion (in a good way I should make clear). SPLENDID!

Key Points To Take Home

. I’m 100% all in on Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar main eventing Wrestlemania

. Nia Jax MUST win at Wrestlemania, else wtf is the point of all this?

. Cena could convince a blind person to buy glasses, his mic work is that good

. Ronda could legit kill Stephanie McMahon

. Matt Hardy’s greatest accomplishment yet could be reviving the career of Bray Wyatt

Conclusion

I’ll keep this short this week. We are all geared towards Wrestlemania so with that in mind, how much did the various angles on the show advance forward and get me hyped for their matches at the event? Well: Lesnar destroying Roman = 10/10; take my 9.99 this month with great approval WWE network, Nia Jax vs Alexa = 10/10; I cannot wait for the brilliant bully to meet her comeuppance, The Revival and Sasha and Bayley being confirmed for the battle royals pretty much = 5/10; gutted they aren’t doing more, but they have a spot at Mania which is obviously something I guess, Cena with Kane = 9/10; loved the inclusion of Kane into this story, makes it more real that someone would be rather annoyed if you repeatedly bad mouthed their brother to the world right?, the IC title stuff = 6/10; not really much… erm… ‘umf’ is this feud but I have no doubt the match will be great, Ronda’s video package = 9/10; very well put together, more than achieved its goal. And then the Ultimate Deletion? Well… idk what else to say about it… YYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSS, WONDERFUL, YEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS, DELIGHTFUL, YEEEEAAAAASSSSSS, OOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE!!!

Josh.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s